My heart was the one that God softened to desire so strongly to bring Hope home. I never could place my finger on it exactly, but there was just something about her that I couldn't get out of my mind. I wanted so desperately to be her mama, the arms that she came to for the good times and the bad. Paul joked a few times while we were going through the process to bring her home that he didn't know why he had agreed to do this again, because we would just be bringing home another child that chose me. And in all honesty, I assumed he was right, I would have three who favored me, and he would still have just Noelle. But from day one, she picked him. Hope still has this amazing desire to spend time with her daddy, her "Baba." My "playground moms" group commented on how happy Hope was the other day when Paul picked up the kids for me. They said she was all over him, and they saw a side of her they don't normally see. I have tried analyzing this. I have theorized that she has had several mamas, foster and nannies, but what she has never had was a Baba. However, as I really look at this sweet connection, I see that she just loves him. It's really sweet to watch. Hope has changed Paul too, she has refined him, and softened him, in a way that only she could do. I can't wait to watch their relationship unfold in the future, and I am happy for once to be in second place.
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