So..How Is It REALLY Going?

I don't think I can even count the number of times a day I answer that question. I will explain why I think people ask so often later, but for now I will answer the big question....So, how is it really going? I can answer in one word....GREAT!....or I can answer in 5 words....BETTER THAN WE EVER EXPECTED! When I felt God really calling us to adopt Hope, I can not lie, I questioned God and all of his infinite wisdom about whether or not we were doing the right thing. I too, had read all the horror stories of older child adoption. I read all the worse case scenarios, and followed the blogs of families who were daily struggling just to keep from going insane. I knew all about reactive attachment disorder, one because it is part of my field, and two because LeeLee deals with it. With our eyes wide open, our family jumped in head first. I made preparations to cut back on some of my activities so, if need be, we could be hermit crabs if we had to so we could help an older child adjust to family life. I even presented the worse case scenario to my friends and family, so they would also be expecting it. I figured it was better to have everyone prepared, and for them to know I was prepared, then to feel sorry for us if things were going rough. Now that Hope has been home for three months I can say that I am glad we were prepared, but Hope has blown us away with how easy she has transitioned in. Can you believe it's been three months? I can't. The little girl we brought home has changed so much. Here are some little tidbits that will let you know how it is REALLY going...

• As most of you know, we were expecting to adopt a little girl with some mental delays. She does not appear to be delayed at all. The only delay she has is a motor delay.
• We have been to tons of doctors. She does have mild cerebral palsy which effects her right side. Since part of my job before children was doing therapy with children with cerebral palsy, I am able to do all her therapy and I just consult with an awesome PT and OT. Hope also has microcephaly. Praise the Lord I never charted her head size while we were reviewing all her info because it would have scared me and I would have worried about it.
• She will need surgery to have her tonsils removed. Because her head is abnormally small and her tonsils are regular size, they actually touch. She snores and this causes sleep apnea.
• Hope has 7 cavities. We are trying to work out a way to have the teeth taken care of while she is under to have her tonsils removed.
• Hope is learning all her letters, she counts to 20 and knows her colors. I will be starting the Kindergarten curriculum with her on Monday. She is so excited to learn. She loves learning.
• She speaks unbelievable English for a child who has only been home for 3 months.
• Now that she does speak English, we know why she always had the adults in China laughing. She is a ham and quite the performer. She keeps us all laughing all the time.
• She is the slowest eater ever!
• Hope relishes in having a family. She said she was waiting a long time for us.
• She can pick up a song and the tones of a song so quickly. She performed in the churches Christmas program and did fantastic (except of course when she fell off the stairs, but she got up with her famous smile.)
• Speaking of her smile, she smiles all the time.
• She is now an animal lover.
• Hope LOVES shopping. When she is bored she will find me and ask if we can go shopping.
• Hope is clumsy, because of the Cerebral Palsy, but I don't think she knows she is any different from any other kid....makes me smile because I can tell she is a glass half full type of girl.
• She has never had any sleep issues. Given the chance though, she would always curl up into Paul's arms and go to sleep. However, she goes to sleep in her bed without any problems.
• Hope is everyone's best friend. She is so used to playing with boys that she plays great with Hunter. She pals around with Noelle and they do all the girly stuff. She and LeeLee play great during the day.
• LeeLee has adjusted better than we thought she would too! I am glad we went out of birth order, because LeeLee does need to be the baby. She is very understanding when Hope tears up her things. She is also very sensitive to the fact that Hope had to wait 6 years for a family. LeeLee thanks me daily for coming to adopt her when she was a baby.
• For us, having four children is EASIER than three. I'm really liking this even number thing! Everyone always has someone and it has cut down on the hurt feelings or someone being left out.

I'll tell two more stories that give you a perspective into Hope's life. This is a conversation that Hope and I had a few days ago after she saw a picture of herself at the orphanage on Paul's computer.....Hope, "Oh look, it's Wu Lina" Me, "You are right, that is Hope" Hope "No, that is Wu Lina." Me, "Sweetie that is Wu Lina, but that is also Hope." Hope, "No, it's not, that is Wu Lina." She now sees that child in that picture as a different person, it is like Wu Lina was the orphan, the child that waited, but Hope is the child that was chosen, the child that is now a daughter, a sister, and a friend.

Also, Hope has been calling back to the orphanage to talk to her favorite Nanny and her friends. She called last night and Cao was home sick, so she wasn't near the children. Cao would ask Hope questions, and Hope would respond to her in English. It broke our hearts. I kept telling her Cao couldn't understand her, but she kept responding to her in English. Cao was a good sport about it, but it was still sad to us that she could not respond to her. It made us realize that even though she can still speak Chinese, that her thought process is now in English.

If you asked Paul to describe how he thought things were going, he would say the picture above pretty much describes it.....It is LOUDER! A lot louder. She may be small, but she has a healthy set of vocal chords and she isn't afraid to use them. The noise doesn't bother me much, it just means my home is filled with blessings. I know there will be a day when I wish there was lots of noise, so for now, I will relish in it.

So how is it really going? It really is going GREAT! I started trying to analyze why people would ask me this. When they ask me how it is going, and I say great, they look at me and say, so, how is it really going? Like I am hiding something, or I'm about to put my children back on a plane with a note pinned to their shirts. They generally walk away disappointed that I didn't give them a negative report card of our family life. In my quiet time I talked to God about it, I asked him why people can't just except that things really are going well, and I waited for his response. He was clear. He asked us to step out on faith and bring home not just another child, but THIS child....we obeyed. To most of the world we look a little nutty, and I understand that, but we were doing what we were called to do. I think the human sin nature in people really wanted to see us struggle so they could justify their own behavior of not stepping out of their comfort zone to do some of things God is clearly calling them to do. I in no way regret our decision to obey. I am pleased that all the worse case scenarios I was prepared for aren't the case. We have only had one day where Hope was just over the top, but it was because she was short on sleep. So, yes, we are doing GREAT. If you think I'm not giving you the whole story, I invite you to come see for yourself.