Sweet Dreams 75/365

Today Hopey looked at me and said, "Mommy, I dreamed last night that you had a baby."
I said, "Oh no, Hopey, you are my baby."
She said, "No, mommy, you said, there is a baby in my tummy, a baby in my tummy."
I said, "No, sweetheart, there are no babies in my tummy."
She said, "Aww, but mommy, I want you to have a baby."
I just gave her the look and said, "It's not gonna happen Hope."
She hung her little head down and walked away.

But the thing is, I don't dream of little babies.  I do however dream of kids.  Kids just like her who are waiting.  When I see pictures of waiting kids who have some similar feature to either Hope or LeeLee, my heart always skips a little beat.  I dream about all the little friends she left behind.  My heart breaks when I see files of kids who are labeled as developmentally delayed or mentally retarded.  I can't help but think of this precious girl who now sleeps peacefully in the room above mine, who has so embraced being a part of a family. I think about a ten year old boy who has been waiting on the list for over five years, I think about how he has begged a volunteer college student to help him find a family.  I think about a precious little girl in a wheel chair that we met this summer who thinks a family is coming for her.  They were coming, but then the husband changed his mind, so she sits everyday waiting for their arrival.  I think about my precious Diana with Downs from camp this summer.  I think about her spunk, and how much she would benefit from a family.  I think about ZhuZhu and how much she wanted to be a part of my family, and how she tried so hard to please me just hoping I would scoop her up and take her home. Oh how I dream of them....the forgotten ones.

My precious Hopey, as you sleep tonight I wish for you lots of sweet dreams.  Dreams that do fill your head with happy thoughts and put smiles on your face.  But for me my sweet girl, while you sleep soundly in your nice warm bed, I will be dreaming by my own dreams trying to figure out what I can do to change the life of the children that haunt my dreams.  And I will remember that you were once one of the children that haunted my dreams.  Then I will look towards the heavens and thank my father above that he helped the dream of you, my sweet girl, become a reality.  Sweet dreams my girl!  Sweet Dreams!